My smelly daughter has revealed that she thinks it is perfectly normal to take a shower and to not use soap and my husband walked away from a job that we just knew would keep us going until we no longer needed jobs (retirement is what some call that), and one that, most importantly, would finally begin funding bigger boobs (for me, not my husband in case anyone wanted clarification).
You could say that it has been a week. I could say, quite simply, this is my life. My daughter smells funny because of the no need for soap issue and I will continue to have nearly non-existent breasts until quite possibly the end of my time here on earth. And then there is the retirement issue, or the more immediate issue of the bills that still will need to be paid regardless of the employment status of anyone of us in our family.
I imagine all kinds of thoughts are floating through your head right now as you read this. Some of you are hardly breathing because you wonder how we will make it. Others are wondering why in the world I would say anything about my breasts on the internet. Some, who don’t even know me or my family, are comparing this to your life right now in this moment and wondering how to avoid your spouse from walking out on his or her job because you too may lose your bigger boob/better car/better life fund.
But here is something else I can quite simply say about this being my life. I have my husband back. Although he had come home every night after long days of work, he wasn’t really home. For years he has been in anxiety land. He has been in his head battling the stress of his job and the stress of not having one. He has been traveling back and forth between the stress of needing and wanting to make sure his wife and kids were all going to be okay and the stress of a job that, in my opinion, could never pay him enough to make sure we were truly all okay, because truly all okay for me means when my husband comes home, he is truly home.
Yes, there are bills and they are not going away, just like the smell of my daughter won’t go away if she doesn’t start using soap. My husband is going to get another job and if he doesn’t I’ll have another post to write about what happens if you don’t pay your mortgage and how I no longer want my husband at home but at a J-O-B. I am not worried though, because if I truly claim to have any sort of faith at all, I have to consider the lilies of the field and how they grow.*
And, I have an incredible faith in my husband because he has built a trust in me by making a choice to truly take care of himself by leaving a job that was doing the opposite. He takes care of us best by taking care of himself first. Opposite, I know, of what most of us were taught about marriage and relationship. Yet, the lilies in our family field cannot be watered from an empty watering can. He was empty and now he is able to find what truly fills him and it is from there that we will be able to figure out what is next.
*Yes I referenced the Bible - Matthew 6:28 to be exact.